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| Dr. Imani Woody |
November 2017
OLD
AGE AIN’T FOR SISSIES. Bette Davis is credited for making this observation and
she was not talking about gay folk. However,
when you talk about us – out
lesbians, gay males, bisexual people, transgender/queer nonconforming folks,
and same gender loving people; getting older and being alone can be a topic we
want to avoid. Some of us have experienced the loss of parents, siblings and
other loved ones. One friend told me that he has lost more than 100 friends
during the AIDs epidemic. So by the time we are in our 50s and beyond, we are
quite realistic about where we are on our life timeline. Ours is the first
generation to have long-term survivors of HIV, cancer and other chronic
illnesses.
Social
isolation is one of the big issues impacting elders, LGBTQ/SGL elders in
particular. We know that LGBTQ/SGL elders are less likely to have children and
more likely to be single and live alone. Empirical research suggests that
social isolation and loneliness is a health issue, perhaps even a greater
public health hazard than obesity https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170805165319.htm. Such social isolation and
loneliness can cause inadequate sleep, feelings of worthlessness, and
depression. It can hasten death in sick people and make well people sick
https://newrepublic.com/article/113176/science-loneliness-how-isolation-can-kill-you
.
I still remember stories of elders dying alone in their residences
because of the lack of connection with another and the well of loneliness.
I maintain that we have an obligation to work
toward bringing an end to isolation in our communities, and it can begin from
our own front porch. Start by identifying an older adult or elder who you see
and/or speak to on a regular basis. This person could be from your
church/mosque/temple, at that event, at the grocery store, at the gym, walking
their dog, or at a meeting.
You can:
1.
Begin to connect with (not
email/text) that older person on a regular basis. Whatever is regular for you…
monthly, bi-weekly. Chat them up. Ask for their opinion, listen to their
stories.
2.
Find out when their birthday is,
the holidays celebrated and send cards/emails, gifs (not gifts), etc.
3.
As the weather changes, be sure
to check on them – maybe rake their leaves, shovel snow, bring magazines from
the library… and,
4.
Tell them about happenings in the
community. Invite them to community events you plan to attend.
Of course, if you have friends who are older and
elders whom you support, increase the attention you are providing. Don’t assume
that someone else is checking on them on a regular basis. It is very easy for
us as humans to isolate and to think one is a burden. Be that friend that makes
a difference. Let’s create an environment that supports all of us, now and in
the future.
(Originally
published for Project Briggs Newsletter Oct 2016)
Dr. Woody presents affordable communal housing at the first White House LGBT Housing Initiative.
